Young Ralph, the office boy. Ralph likes things that become wet when you break them, and Zoella. Young Ralph is the owner of an ancient bat's wing which can summon ninety-two distinct categories of soul-consuming demon. He also likes experimenting with animals, and Chelsea FC.

Here's Ralph. Or, as he's affectionately known around the office, 'Ralph The Chin'. Can you guess why? Ralph is part of the catering team in the staff canteen. What he doesn't know about healthy, nutritious food isn't worth knowing. His bacon and leek quiche is to die for. Cheers, Ralph The Chin. Don't mind if I do.

This is Ralph and Ralphetta, husband and wife from the Isle Of Man. Ralph is twenty-four, Ralphetta ninety-three. They have worked for Hellanory since its conception, and live in a small cupboard under the sink. Ralph and Ralphetta are responsible for Mr. Hopkins' personal administration and grooming.

Computer not booting up? Telly on the blink? Kettle up the spout? Then call Ralph for all your tech repairs in the Hellanory office. He's Ralphaela's son and husband and, because of a weird glitch in the fabric of time, her great-uncle.

Feast your eyes upon Triangular Ralph. He works with Ralph The Chin in the staff canteen, cleaning the tables with his massive, sponge-like face. What a whopper of a face it is. Let's not go on about it. But it's bloody HUGE.

Mr and Mrs Ralph Ralphington, the cleaners. They lie underneath things and stare at you. Sometimes they come very close and stand there staring at you for hours. They have one child, Ralph.

This is Ralph. Ralph is the office joker, and likes nothing more than to remove the legs from things that move and leave them on peoples' desks. His job at Hellanory is to clean the typewriter keys with his hard, abrasive tongue.

This is Ralph. Ralph was bitten by a vicious circle as a baby, and now has a spherical head that wobbles like a water balloon. He wears a white smock to hide the fact that from the neck down he is covered in thick, greasy fur. He works on the mixing desk. Ralph is an Aries.

Look - it's Big-Nosed Ralph. He handles sales and social media marketing strategies for Hellanory. If there's a Tweet to be seen, then Big-Nosed Ralph is the culprit.